Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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