I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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