I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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