i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
