she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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