But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
