i jhust puked up my retainher.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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