Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
