Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't turn off my feet"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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