Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
