Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Houston, we have a blender
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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