if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
