she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
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We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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