we have officially lost it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
