We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
