I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
