She's JV to your varsity
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
