Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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