Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
