it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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