why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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