Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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