I will die if light touches me.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
