my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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