he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
