My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
