Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize