DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
