4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
