She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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