i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
