I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize