My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
