It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
