I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
