three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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