party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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