I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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