Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
