Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
