Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
