You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
