Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
