Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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