She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Your cock deserves a montage
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize