thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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