you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
