Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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