Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Rumble strips road head = magical
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
