she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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