But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
