She is in my trunk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
