You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
