I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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