I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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