If i come over, it means nothing
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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