but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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