Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
