I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
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The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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