I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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