she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
