like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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