maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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