I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
