I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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