That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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