You're so nebulous sometimes
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
